Putting on a Show

If you know me well you know that you can usually have a good idea what I'm thinking based on what you see, if I'm pissed, you'll know it, if I feel wierd also equally obvious, or when I'm happy I'll be making you laugh all night long. Before I jump into the rest of my post I would first like to say that sometimes it's good to put on a show, pretend you feel different than you really do, sometimes it's the right thing to do. Most of the time it's just stupid. The reason why is this: most people aren't good actors. I've noticed that in big groups girls will pretend to be having the time of their lives, hey and there's nothing wrong with having an awesome time, but when you're faking it it shows. Just be real. Same goes for guys it just doesn't happen as much. Well, with guys it's more like their show is how little they care about what's going on. Maybe someone there actually wants to talk to you, but when you're too busy showing everyone else what a good time you're having, or how much you wish you were someplace else, those opportunities to talk steadily dissappear. But maybe your reason to be there is to party, well dang girl, go party, but if it isn't stop pretending it is.

I have met some awesome people that are really fun to be around, I can think of three in particular where if I had been putting on a show i never would have gotten to know them. Take some time, slow it down a notch get to know some good people.   

Service Oriented Dating?

I might be becoming more and more mormon, and maybe that's not bad thing. In fact, it isn't a bad thing. To be honest it had never occurred to me to put service and dating together, probably having something to do with the fact that I'm incredibly selfish. and to avoid plagiarism, the concept of service in dating isn't mine. I've heard it from several sources over the past few weeks, a fireside, in elders quorum, and from a friend. Each time it clicked a little more.

If you know me well you know I listen to motivational stuff all the time. I recently picked up a gem from Tony Robbins, Entering a relationship should not be based on what the other person provides, or can give you, it must be motivated instead by what you can give to them. I like that for one reason in particular it gives me all the reason I need to work harder to become a better person.

I am blessed to be surrounded by many people who are better than me in many ways. Although it can be hard noticing my inadequacies, I cherish these relationships because as I emulate their behavior I get closer and closer to becoming a good guy. When i say a 'good guy' what I mean is this: when I'm not around and people are talking about me, I want people to be able to say, yeah, I know Scott, he's a good guy.

So, with that in mind, I'm gonna change my approach to dating... just a little.   

Road Bikes: embracing spandex with open arms

During my mission I biked a ton, spanish missionaries in memphis tennessee had a lot of ground to cover, we biked 20 plus miles a day on a regular basis. I kept that bike and started biking in provo up the canyon. Great ride. When I wanted to go a little further it got to the point where little things started adding up gym shorts just weren't cutting it. But I said to myself, spandex is pretty gay. Then I did 40 miles I bought some bike shorts the next day. I felt exposed wearin those puppies, I kid you not, I would look outside to make sure no one was looking, I'd double time it down the stairs and get off my street as fast as my reduced friction legs would carry me. Flash forward to now: I have fully embraced the bike short mentality. The way I feel about bike shorts now followed the path that a general authority used to describe sin. At first you're repulsed by the thought, then you dabble with the idea, you try it out, then you embrace it.

I have fully embraced my bike shorts. And I'm not the only one. I'm one of five in my weekly biking group. Yes, we have a group, a secret combination, we have other clandestine activities, but one difference between us and other groups of ill repute is that we do our dirty work in broad daylight. And although it may be wrong... it just feels so right   

The Lost art of Straightforward Communication

The art of being straightforward seems to be a craft on its death bed. Why the dramatics? Don't you find it odd that we, as a society, describe people who are straightforward as refreshing (or something like that). As in "it's nice (refreshing) that she's so up front about things". Why would you use the terms like nice and refreshing in reference to something that should be considered normal. It's refreshing because that's the way communication should be, and upon experiencing it we find it to be "better than usual".

The problem with straight-forward communication is that we leave ourselves emotionally vulnerable to a number of responses: rejection and misunderstanding OR understanding and acceptance. I feel like we often avoid voicing our thoughts to others to keep our life clear of the first two, at the expense of the others. So crippled by this fear we can develop lots of superficial relationships.

So why not put yourself out there a little more, break out of that shell every once in a while? Because fear is tough to beat. But being religious has it's perks, I know that I can crush my fear if I have faith in myself and faith in God that he'll have my back when things get too intense.

So say what you feel, the more you do it the better you'll get at  it (I'm not that good yet). But don't misuse this advice, you don't need to tell everyone your problems and do your best to make everyone feel horrible for you... In biology that's what they call parasitism.  But sharing your problems in a healthy way can build relationships. Being sincere and expressive is an impressive combination. Give meaningful compliments when they come to mind. It sounds nice, but it's tough to break the 'thug life' emotional mentality, that's girls and guys, pretending you're aloof and don't give a !@#$ gets you nothing worth having. It really doesn't, speaking, of course, from my extensive experience.  

Dance parties

I've talked to a couple friends about this, in the hopes that the people who read this avoid at all costs the following things I think are...dumb.

1. telling other guys (me) how many HOT girls are here and how I should be 'Mackin it up'. Why is this dumb you ask, well I'll tell you: Oddly enough I might be in the minority of people who go to a dance party...to dance. WHAT?! no.... he's kidding... who does that? That's right I like to dance, and I'm good. that's why I go. I heard this little schpiel from 3 guys the other night, and guess what. By the end of the night they all had succeeded in finding girls... that they were already friends with, that's not picking up girls fellas. Don't throw off my groove!!

2. Girls that say they love to dance... that don't. But Scott, you say, all girls love to dance. I'll dispel this myth right now. Girls say they love to dance for two reasons... because they actually like to dance... OR because they want other people to think they like to dance. Case in point, me and my friend meet up with these two girls, I wanted to go to a dance party so I said "lets go dancing". Both girls and their guy friend (pretty sure he was gay), said yeah! So I assume these guys wanna dance...sweet! haha... nope, not all of them at least.
                     Standing in the middle of the dance floor uncomfortably texting people on your phone is not dancing, it is, on the other hand, incredibly lame. If I was into the girl I would have tried really hard to help her to chill out, stop being up tight... no one really cares guys fyi. But I wasn't so I didn't.  her friend was fun (all that matters).  Haha and the best part of the night random guy friend was a better dancer than either of em. You know that song "get out of your mind" that's all you need, let loose ladies!! ... and gents.

oh, and no grinding, yeah we all want to have sex, but we don't want to see your awkward attempt at it on the dance floor.

Giving it a shot

On the recommendation of my little sister I'm going to start this up. Mostly as a way of getting out what I'm thinking about without having to write in a journal.  Despite the die hards out there I've always thought journal writing was pretty lame, to each his own I suppose. That said, this blog will not be a journal, I will not give a rundown of my week for posterity or anthropologists to study and try to piece together what life was like 200 years ago. No, I'm writing this blog because my opinion is pretty important. I'm a genius. At certain things. At others, not so much...but I still haver an opinion; hence the title of the blog.